Things to know about dating a journalist

Don’t be surprised if we’re not impressed when you say, “I’m a writer, too.” No, you are not.

Nor does the fact that you “wrote some poems in high school” or that one day you want to pen “the great American novel.”Look, we’re paid to write. We’re not spewing our angst or trying to fabricate an aura of creativity.

Nor are they the blondes you men continually fall for.

But journalists aren’t like the bimbos you usually pick up at the bar.

Don’t be upset when an argument against your adoration of Hillary Clinton turns up on page A4. We’re not trying to call you dumb (even though you don’t understand the English language), it’s habit.

We’re not directing the writing at you, personally — your ignorance was just our inspiration (there, doesn’t that make you feel better? The same will happen when you say “anxious” when you mean “eager” and when you answer “good” when someone asks how you are doing. Embrace it (that’s what attracted you to us in the first place, after all).

On that same note, don’t get upset if you call us on deadline suggesting some afternoon nookie and we say, “I’ve got to put the paper to bed first.” That could mean hours from now, but we’ll have plenty of time to put you in bed later. Even if it does seem like an interview, we’re paying attention to what you have to say (see rule No. We’ll write about you or your thoughts because you’re an important part of our life and we care about you (see rule No. Feel free to add to the list, point out where I’ve missed something or leave a comment.

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You don’t do that unless you’re confident, even egotistical.

You may have some great journal entries, poems and rudimentary short stories — good for you.

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  1. The firm remained in the Wedgwood family until the middle of the last century, when Josiah Wedgwood V, great-great-great grandson of the founder, floated it on the stock market.