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and above all with their own pathetic goddamn selves, sitting in front of a fucking computer instead of doing fucking So, as managing editor of CNN.com, I want our readers to know this: All you are to us, and all you will ever be to us, are eyeballs.

The two manatees did meander over, I assumed spurred by some rudimentary form of empathy to help their helpless brethren. When they got there, the two manatees - seriously, this- this actually happened -worked together to hold the crippled one firm up against the glass of the inclosure, to help the first manatee finally succeed in "Americans reported feelings of overwhelming disgust with whatever abhorrent bastard did this and with the world at large...

I dont hesitate to call it stupid bullshit because we all know its stupid bullshit. We also know that you are probably dumb enough, or bored enough, or both, to click on the stupid bullshit anyway, and that you will continue to do so as long as we keep putting it in front of your big, idiot faces.

You want to know how many more page views the Miley Cyrus thing got than our article on the wildfires ravaging Yosemite?

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  1. Failing that, take us back to the old days of , when we at least got to make fun of everyone equally instead of whiplashing between stereotypes of women ranging from husband-hungry to sex-crazed to messed-up to mean to men or to the worst of all, sad and pathetic.

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