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The other person had to love God and be beautiful in my eyes, both inside and out. Could we open our hearts, exposing our hurts and wounds? So we went on a second date, and a third date, and a fourth date ... We loved each other, sensed God drawing us together, and wanted to live life with one another. Really, that's the only reason anyone should get married.
In exchange for the seemingly endless list of qualities, though, I evaluated the relationship itself as we got to know one another. until after a month of dating, we decided to date exclusively. Not because marriage is the fulfillment of some personal goal or life plan, but because God is calling you to love another person as Christ loves us — sacrificially and unconditionally.
From the heights of anticipation, it can send you to the depths of despair.
At times, dating can make you feel like a different person. Dating can be especially trying if you're not simply doing it to have fun, but to get married.
Coming to these realizations required evaluating where I found my ultimate fulfillment and, eventually, discarding the idea that another person could make me whole. Rather than focus on the end-goal of marriage, I set my sights on getting to know the other person.
In short, I had to abandon my search for a soulmate. I learned about her story and priorities, quirks and sense of humor, passions and interests, faith and family. No longer consumed with figuring out whether I would one day marry this woman, I finally had space to enjoy dating her and discovering what made her tick.
Every suitor is a potential husband, and every woman is a possible wife — not to mention father or mother of your future children. It's no exaggeration to say that outside of following Christ, who you choose to marry is the of your life.
More than anything else, it will dictate your future happiness and success.
Then he would hit the "down" side and sink into the depths of depression.In large part, it will determine who you become and the life you lead.With this perspective, it's easy to consider anything less than a ring on the finger a failure.After reaching this point, I decided to ask someone else out. I could allow the relationship to develop naturally, free from internal pressures and anxieties. And I still struggled to keep myself from sizing up dating prospects. That didn't mean I was quite ready to buy a ring, though.In that context, I began learning whether we were compatible and could ultimately go the distance. Not because either of us failed to clear the bar, but because we weren't right for each other. The difference is, I no longer gave those judgments much weight, whereas before they were . Instead of the "perfect" spouse, now I wanted to find a person with whom I enjoyed sharing life. At the time, I had a coworker who although beautiful, didn't seem like a perfect match for me. We met each other's family and talked about our future. We still had a journey to travel before getting married.