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The next two guys were nice enough guys but both actually still lived with their exes…Neither like confrontation and that involved even basic discussions about what was going on… Where there wasn’t direct aggression, there was passive aggression, so actually, I as getting aggression whichever way you look at it.
The flip flapping confused my sense of self and I totally got lost en route.
I vowed that the next time I was involved with someone that they’d be expressive.
They’d tell me how they felt about me, wouldn’t just switch from hot to cold, and wouldn’t have ‘mother issues’.
Many moons ago, I went out with a guy who was about 9 years older than me.
He chased hard and then once he felt like he was in control, he gradually revealed how emotionally unavailable he was, to the point where I felt like an outsider in our home.
Serious control issues, very jealous and possessive (he once got angry when I said how ‘hot’ a celebrity was…), and played havoc with my mind, so that I became a shadow of my former self.
No more of these older guys was the motto when I walked away.
I couldn’t figure out what the hell I wanted and instead of dealing with the issue, I knee-jerked from guy to guy, trying to home in on ‘opposite’ traits, and still ended up with the same results.
I kept saying I’d learned my lesson and how I’d be avoiding guys who did such and such, only to find myself with same guy different package, still feeling the same way – like crap.
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Playing the opposites game is a dangerous one, especially because in focusing on one particular thing, you miss the big picture and neglect to see other things that pose a danger to you.