How long between dating and engagement
Extending the courtship period in all cases will progressively minimize your relative risk of developing lasting regrets down the line.Getting married is described as a leap of faith for a reason, but when you wait a significant length of time before you “make it official,” the leap is not nearly so great. Sure, a handful of marriages might thrive after short courtships, but for every one of these examples, a much greater number end in divorce. “Delay of Gratification in Children.” Science, 244, 933-938.In each audience that I’ve spoken to about marital decision-making, there is almost always someone who raises a hand and says, “My parents fell in love and got married a month later, and they’ve been completely happy together for the last 50 years.” The core of this statement is an assertion that lifelong happy marriages are possible with very short courtships. So, in all cases, if we were to honestly weigh the emotional, psychological, and financial costs of a bad decision, wouldn’t wisdom in all cases suggest a relatively long courtship? This is good advice, but I think it's pointless unless you counsel couples to start having sex after a reasonable time of couple-dom, say, six months.If couples wait to have sex until they are married, and wait two years to get married, they have no idea how they will after the initial glow of sex wears off.I got hitched almost 40 years ago and nobody then waited for marriage or an engagement to start boinking - we didn't wait a week - so I can't imagine anyone's waiting now. I waited two years before I got married and it lasted 5 months. Provide the actual statistics when you reference them, because this just sounds like a bunch of cultural bias when you take into consideration that arranged marriages can and do work in the East.
In the flick, Emily Blunt and Jason Segel play a couple who have what seems like a never-ending engagement.When I give talks on how to make wise decisions about love relationships, the burning question that someone almost always asks is, “How long do I have to wait?” The phrasing of this question illustrates the fact that waiting can feel like working against the tide of biology and the romantic rush of falling in love and making it official.Since sex is what sets marriage apart from all other relationships, normally, I would hope you counsel couples not to wait.Or at least advise them that they are flying blind and putting their couple-dom at serious risk. A lot of couples don't know whether they are bonded together because of sex or because of actual long-term compatibility.