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Though the internet allows us to connect with people across the globe near-instantly, dating apps like Tinder prioritize showing us nearby matches, the assumption being the best date is the one we can meet up with as quickly as possible with little inconvenience.A year and a half ago, I was 23, single, and working as an engineer at the online-dating site Ok Cupid.But I had no plans to visit Austin and we lost touch.A couple of weeks later, for work, I started combing through a data set of Ok Cupid “success stories”—blurbs that couples wrote in to let us know they’d found a soul mate or spouse through the site.Inspired by this, Ok Cupid decided to poll users with the question, “What is the longest you’ve traveled to meet up with someone from a dating app?” About 6 percent of millennials, 9 percent of Gen Xers, and 12 percent of Baby Boomers said more than five hours.
Online-dating companies are privy to the fact that people use them for travel.But then, what you say to a stranger you’d probably never meet?Freed from the pressure of a pending outcome—no question of a second drink, moving to a second bar, or going back to anyone’s place—I became immersed in these conversations that lasted, sometimes, for hours.Then one day I had my wisdom teeth pulled and my cheeks became grapefruits.Figuring this was not a great first-date look, I made no weekend plans.
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Reading through them, I noticed something odd: Many of Ok Cupid’s successful users first met when they were living across the country—or the world—from each other.