Blak and white dating
What does it mean to be uncomfortable about interracial dating in 2014? Why are so many people advocating a "stay with your own race" mentality?
As a young woman of color, I can attest to the fact that many people in this world feel it is their duty — no, their God-given right — to decide what is best for me, and especially whom is best for me to date.
In an essay entitled "The Reality of Dating White Women When You're Black," writer Ernest Baker tackles big topics like Eurocentric beauty standards, the taboo aspect of interracial relationships, and why he dates white women, among others: Why do I date white women?
Black women have told me it's because I'm a sellout.
For instance, I felt the need to defend my relationships to my mother who, like Baker’s mother, wondered when her daughter would bring home someone who looked more Michael B. My mother will resent me for saying this, but I know there is a part of her that wanted to see me settle down with someone black, someone who looked like me.
After five years of my boyfriend and I dating on and off, I think my mom has come to love him almost as much as I do.
One of the most difficult parts about being in an interracial relationship is the fact that I started to question things I never I questioned before.
One of my favorite things to do was to play with his hair.
I grew up thinking that because I looked different, I somehow wasn't good enough.
When you look at the role models of my youth, the people and products the media put forth and said, “This is beauty personified,” you’ll notice a distinct theme: Barbie, Britney Spears, Polly Pocket, Sailor Moon, Mandy Moore, Mary Kate and Ashley — all white.
Try as I might to suppress the reaction, I experience black men's choice of white women as a personal rejection of the group in which I am a part, of African American women as a whole, who have always been devalued in this society.
We are all members of this collective community living on Earth, and we all need to start being honest with ourselves.
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I looked down at my fingertips, stained deep mocha from my foundation, and felt self-conscious.